I Seriously Hate Myself

I hate myself more than anything in this world. Why do I stop and give up. Why am I piling stuff over me? Why is everyone in this world saying everything is going to be alright when I am not alright? I feel so overwhelmed. Help me! I have so much crap going on right now. My mom is an insane bitch and my dad whose in China leaving me stranded and isolated at home. I feel worried.

Please help me stop these worries!

If Only I Could Run Away

I wish I could just run away from society, life and all these things. I want to be at peace where no one can bother me. Running away to paradise. Everyone wants this. Its only a dream to us. Where would I go after I die?

Thats The Way I Loved You

Disaster!!!

Today I came late to school and since I have been missing school quite awhile, my counselor just came up to me and asked me tons of question as to why I wasn't in school for the past few days. My heart was beating fast because I already knew I caused so much trouble to myself. I was ready for someone to yell straight at my face.Let's just say, I lost motivation. That doesn't mean I'm a bad student. I am pretty sure everyone loses motivation. I was just overwhelmed with the pressure I am having at school. College application, Internships, Senior events, Homework and a bunch of bullcrap. Yes I am a lazy bitch. :)

As I soon walked towards my counselor, I was shocked. It seems like she was worrying about me. So did all my friends at school worried about me. Basically the whole 12th Grade worried about me. O_O When I even entered my 1st period class everyone smiled and gave me a welcome back applause. I thought everyone didn't even care I was there. I was just a shadow that no one can look at. To my surprise had I felt the care from my school for the very first time. I knew my school was a very loving school, I just never felt it. And yes what is Love? That is such a hard question to answer because Love varies in many forms!

After all these welcome back and happy smiley giggly shenanigans, some of my friends hugged me including my teachers. I paused to myself and thought for a second, "DANGGGGG!!!! They missed me that much?" It was just an amazing experience I had today. Yet I also thought about the disaster I had today after school as well.

And I also can't believe tomorrow is senior picture and I still look like shiet. Arg!!!! What do I wear what should I do? I hate all these constant worryings! They are blowing my head off! Ten extra dollars just to sit and take a picture? What total BS is that?

Brilliant

I came across a video from Youtube that really caught my attention. It is a Thai commercial from the company Pantene. Who knew that Pantene could create such a touching and a very open commercial based on life! But of course, although the commercial focused about reality, how did this show about shampoo? O_O

Introduction

This is my first time using blogger.com. As you know I became interested in using this blog based on what I have found at school. I stumbled upon Jonathan and Shante's page and was stunned at how much they wrote on their blog; yet it was beautifully done and so much expression that was put into words. I hope I can use this blog as my everyday online entry.
I am willing to share with you all about my feelings and about my reality.